Last Imagination X
by Smeggs
Summary: This is a piss-take of the game FFX following the storyline with *some* changes ;) R+R
1. Beginnings

Disclaimer:  
I don't own anything about this game (apart from one copy of the game sitting by my PS2)  
This is my own original creation- do not copy!  
No offense or liable intended- don't sue.  
  
  
  
  
It's Time For Tonights Feature Presentation:  
  
It's a Busty McHooters adaptation of the hit PS2 game Last Imagination 10 (patent pending)  
  
This story features scenes of violence, strong language and images of a sexual nature, also it's crap,  
ergo (that's how you spell it) you shouldn't read it!!  
  
  
  
  
  
The story starts in the highly advanced city of Kilkenny, where the milk flows freely and the sheep are cheap ;)  
The fantastical city even has its own stadium for the traditional game of Zarkball.   
Zarkball is a simple sport played inside a giant testical filled with water.   
The rules are easy enough; If you score a Zark you get three Geopoints and those points can be converted into  
Killoquats and for each Killoquat you get an extra Theora. If you get a Zark within the enemies designated area  
you can convert directly to blah blah blah bllllllllaaaaaaaaaaaaahhhhhhhhhhh biddy blah  
  
That's how simple it is to play Blitz...whoops I mean Zarkball.  
  
Our main character can now be seen exiting the stadium with lots of fans screaming his name:   
  
  
Fans: TITTY!!!! TITTY!!!! Can I've an autograph Titty.  
  
Titty: It's Teedus you idiots! I mean of course you can.  
  
Titty makes his way through the crowds and we join him later on after another game of Zarkball.  
That IS all they do in Kilkenny, what else would he do?   
  
However! ....dramatic pause..... during the game a strange creature attacks the city of Kilkenny.  
Thousands of people are being killed but the music being played over the attack doesn't seem to fit...  
OR DOES IT!  
  
Britney: I'm not a girl! Not yet a woman! All I need is time, a moment that is mine.  
While I'm in between.  
  
As she's singing we see the blasts of the creature destroy the city and then they even hit poor little Britney.  
She's blown up in the air and flies away into distance screaming.  
Britney: THEY'RE REal i swear... (and she's gone)  
  
  
  
We then go back to Titty and see that somehow he's managed not to be killed like EVERYONE else  
(well, he is a main character.)  
He then bumps into another person, whom he seems to recognise.  
  
Titty: Mauron, what are you doing here.  
Mauron: Titty, this is your story. We must leave at dawn.  
Titty: It's Tee.. forget it. Anyway, shhhh, we're supposed to pretend it's real not a story. You're not doing it right!  
Mauron: Take this stupid looking sword. (gives it to him) We must go battle your father.. whoops forget that...  
I mean we have to fight the She-man.  
Titty: Okaaaayyyyyy. You're a bit cryptic aren't you? And take your face out of ur coat- I can barely hear you.  
Did anyone ever tell the She-man that it looks a bit like a big fanny. Teehee. Wait is that a......  
  
BOSS BATTLE:   
She-man's Penis, HP: 5,000  
MP: 20  
Items: Magical clear fluid (smells a bit funny and tastes like fish)  
  
After the Boss battle things get really nuts (get it nuts, penis hhahahaha-sorry)  
  
Mauron: You must enter the Vagina! This is where ur story begins.  
Titty grins at the camera then looks back at Mauron.  
Titty: This isn't a porn story so what are you talking abou..... (Mauron throws Titty into the big 'opening' in She-man.)  
  
  
  
Titty wakes up in a big scary place and lots of boring shite happens but then we meet up with the hated race of the Germans.  
Their language is the EXACT same as Titty's but he can't understand them because they've cleverly mixed up all the letters  
in their alphabet. Dumbasses.  
  
German 1: Komm Jetzt!!! Wir gehen. Komm! Wir wollen dich helfen! (talking to Titty)  
Titty: What? I don't understand you so you must be evil... or something.  
(German 2 smacks him over the head and knocks him out with his weapon)  
German 2: (looking at his friends) Was? Er hatte eine Fliege auf seinem Kopf.  
  
The Germans take Titty to their ship. Lots more boring shit happens and Titty meets the hot German- Fuckuu  
  
Titty: So Fuckuu, you speaka the english.  
Fuckuu: Don't be an idiot. Oh wait, you're so stupid you must have been infected by She-man.  
Titty: Yeah. That MUST be it. Anyhoo, where am I?  
Fuckuu: You are in Queera. 10,000 years from ur past.  
Titty: How did you know I was from the past?  
Fuckuu: Yeah that doesn't make sense does it? Well, let's call it female intuition. Now, get on ur knees for an old  
fashioned German spanking my new sex slave!!!  
  
Fuckuu takes out a whip and a bottle of lube.  
  
Fuckuu: Fuckuu is going to fuck u up good! Ve vill hav ze gud time ja?  
  
  
  
Then suddenly....another dramatic pause....She-man attacks out of the ocean and yet again Titty wakes up in a   
different place and meets some more people and never once tells them his name.  
  
Wakker: hey man, you wanna be my friend ya? I have nobody else cos me brother Chappu died and ya look a   
bit like him, ya.  
Titty: Eh, okkkaaaaayyyy. I was infected by She-man so I'm a bit wierd okay?  
Wakker: Ya man, ya look a bit wierd!  
Titty: Whaddya mean wierd!? Never mind. Anyway, do you know how to get to Kilkenny from here?  
Wakker: Wow man. Kilkenny was destroyed 10,000 years ago and ....blah blah boring snore.   
So, don't tell anyone that kay?  
Gatta: Hey Wakker, off?  
Wakker: Ya. We're headin' back to da village. Come on man lets go the swimming way so we can fight some sharks ya?  
Titty: Whatever. I have this stupid looking sword anyway.  
  
Titty and Wakker go back to the city and after Titty looks around and some more stuff happens Titty goes into the temple.  
  
Temple Dude 1: Welcome to the temple of Be-gayed. We vow to fight eternally against the transvestite powers of She-man.  
Titty: Yeah fine whatever. Why the heck does Wakker sound like he's from Jamaika and the rest of you sound normal?  
Wow! Who's that with the big...  
Wakker: Titty!  
Titty: Exactly.  
Wakker: Oh her- that's Tutu. We've been friends for years and I've never once tried it on because I like..... Zarkball. Yeah  
That's right.  
  
As Tutu walks past we hear the Hymn of the Fayth in the back ground. The Hymn sounds strangely like Kylie Miongue  
singing 'Can't Get You Out Of My Head'.  
  
"Hi, I'm Luna the apprentice Summoner. I'm trying to gain the power to summon the Final Gayon to defeat She-man."  
Titty: Good for you. I'm going to follow the woman with the big melons. (all the time staring at Tutu as she buys melons   
from a merchant)  
Wakker: Luna, we must accompany you into the Chamber of Piles where you can get your first Gay-on and become a   
summoner like your father before you.  
Luna: Way to summarize Wakker!  
  
  
Luna, Wakker, Tutu and Titty go into the temple and Luna approaches the priest, as Kylie plays in the background.  
Then all of them except Titty clutch their groins and moan orgasmically.  
  
Titty: What in the name of Zarkball are you doing? (whispers to Wakker)  
Wakker: It's the holy salute to Kevin. He was the straightest person in the world and he fought against gayness wherever  
he went and founded our religion fighting She-man. Now we use the fayth to get the gay-ons and fight anything   
gay or transvestite in an effort to overcome She-man.  
Titty: So, basically you're all a bunch of close-minded homophobes!  
Tutu: Yep.  
Titty: Grand. Let's get this gay-on.  
  
After numerous puzzles and boring interludes Titty finally realises that there's a big blue ape standing behind him.   
  
Titty: What the fuck!  
Tutu: Oh that's Larry. He doesn't talk much and he'll eat the face off you if you mention his skin condition.  
  
Luna emerges and everyone makes their way outside the temple again, where all the town folks await and she tells them that  
she is now a summoner. She then bends over exposing her arse and farts out her new gay-on. An insane flying monkey jumps  
out and she pets it and the town folk all cheer.  
  
Titty: Okay. That was possibly the stupidest thing that I've ever seen!  
Tutu: Luna was 'probed' inside the temple to see if she was 'worthy'. Once Luna reaches the peak of her praying (remember  
how they pray) a gay-on is given to her. The gay-on lives inside your rectum and Luna can call it forth at any time.  
Titty: Why the fuck does it live in your rectum.  
Tutu: Not MY rectum, HER rectum- keep up! Anyway, where else would you put it? If you put it in your brain you'll just   
lose your memory and that would be stupid wouldn't it?  
Titty: Good point.  
  
Suddenly Mauron appears behind a bush and walks over to the others.  
Mauron: Hello, I've gotten my arm stuck in my jumper can anyone help me?  
  
After Luna sucks up to him and Titty tries to beat him up for getting him stuck here they decide that they must proceed on  
Luna's pilgimage to defeat She-man and get Titty home.  
  
Mauron: We leave at dawn. Get some rest and be prepared!  
Wakker: Sir Mauron it is morning and we're already on the boat.  
Mauron: Very good. Your instincts are stong and you need that to be a guardian.   
Titty: So, why are you here anyway?  
Mauron: I am   
Titty: Did you say UNSENT?  
Mauron: No of course not- that would make no sense! I said I'm bent.  
She-man made me gay but I must not be straightened by Luna 'til I've defeated She-man.  
Titty: Right. Whatever. Are we there yet!!??  
  
  
  
  
NO. THEY ARE NOT YET THERE. WILL THEY EVER GET THERE? WILL THEY DEFEAT SHE-MAN?  
WILL THEY EXCEPT HOMOSEXUALS AS HUMANS TOO? WILL I FIND THE CAPS-LOCK BUTTON?  
  
TUNE IN NEXT TIME TO FIND OUT!  
OH- there it is!  
  
  
  
  
  
  
  
Disclaimer:  
I know it was terrible and I'm sorry but you forced me to do it. So, it's your fault!  
  
Bin Brian Enterprises concludes this feature presentation.   
All Rights Reserved.  
Written by Busty McHooters. 


	2. Middle-lings

A continuation of Our Feature Presentation will now start:  
  
It's the long awaited and hotly controversial Last Imagination X (part 2)   
(Patent still Pending)  
  
The 2nd part of our story is pretty much exactly like the first but...  
Bigger, Badder and MUCH Sexier!  
  
Written By: Busty McHooters.  
  
  
  
  
When we last joined our fascinating and stupidly named characters they were aboard  
the small boat S.S. Wine-o.   
  
Captain: Pass me that bottle of gin!  
  
Anyway, our characters are now having a very intellectual conversation about their tactics  
for their battle against She-man.  
  
  
Titty: I fancy Tutu! Okay Wakker- Truth or Dare?  
  
  
Okay. Well maybe the girls are doing something more intelligent.  
  
  
Tutu: Do my boobs look big in this?  
  
  
Never mind. Anyway it's now bed-time and our Heroes must go beddy byes.  
  
  
Mauron: Get some rest- we have a long journery ahead of us.  
  
Titty: zzzzzzzzzzzzzzzz (snore)  
  
Meanwhile we journey into the wierd and wonderful world of Titty's Dreams.  
  
Luna: Come with me Titty!  
  
Fuckuu: No! You must come with me!  
  
Titty: Oh yeah. I'll cum with BOTH of you.  
  
Luna: Oh My! Titty that's a very big wand you have there.  
  
Fuckuu: I'm cumming right now!!  
  
Then Titty is woken up suddenly when the boat is shook by some unknown source.  
  
Wakker: Oh Sir Mauron give it to me!!  
  
Titty: Wakker we're being attacked wake up!  
  
Wakker: ughh. Sorry I was having a dream about...... Zarkball. That's right Zarkball.  
  
They both run outside and see that She-man is attacking yet again.  
  
Shania: Man, I feel like a woman!  
She-man shoots her.  
  
Wakker: Oh my God. It killed Shania Twain!  
  
Tutu: You BASTARD!  
  
Titty: God this guy seems to be following me- you'd swear he was my DAD!  
  
Mauron: Anyway, that's not likely....yet.   
  
Tutu: Let's fight She-man, even though we obviously can't beat it. It shud be fun!  
  
Titty: Tutu, you shud probably leave your little teddy behind.  
  
Tutu: This is my weapon of incredible power! Well actually it's shit, I mostly just use my   
magic, but isn't it the cutest little thing-awww!  
  
Larry:.....  
  
Luna: Aww. Larry that's sooo sweet.   
  
Mauron: Let's FIGHT!  
  
Titty: What! It's huge no way am I going near that freaky transvestite thing!  
  
Mauron: But you must this is your story!  
  
Titty: Fine! Aww.. sorry my weapon doesn't reach it. I'm sssssooooo sorry.  
I'll just go back to my little comfy bed.  
  
  
Wakker, Tutu, and Larry start attacking She-man.  
  
Boss Battle: She-Man's Tit. HP: 10,000  
MP: 50  
Items: Over Sized Novelty Bra! (Tutu's shield)  
  
Larry:........  
  
Wakker: Yes! You're right! You can't reach.  
  
Mauron: I'll fight instead. Ow. Oh Shit- I'm stuck.  
I can't get my arm out. Ouchies!! Sorry.  
  
Luna: I can help!! I'll heal you!  
  
Tutu: We haven't even been hit yet.  
  
Luna: You must be poisoned! Esuna!  
  
Tutu: Well that was useless.  
  
Luna: But I'm helping.  
  
Wakker: Yes you are! Could you scratch my back?  
  
Luna: eh. okay.  
  
Wakker: bit lower. There we go.  
  
  
Wakker and Tutu fight She-man, while Luna scratches any uncomfortable and   
hard-to-reach areas. She-man then swims off without even being injured.   
Before he goes though he manages to knock against the side of the boat very dangerously.  
  
Titty: IT'S PURE EVIL!!  
  
  
Tutu falls down and lands on the ground of the boat. She seems slightly hurt but is still okay.  
Also her dress seems to slip slightly and reveals more than anyone expected. She looks dazed  
and confused and doesn't attempt to fix her dress. Titty takes full advantage of this and goes to  
help her get up. And.... oh yeah Luna fell off the side of the boat.  
  
  
Titty: Are you okay? Let me help you?  
  
Luna: Can someone please help me? There are sharks down here!  
  
Titty: That evil thing didn't hurt you did it Tutu?  
  
Luna: Ow! They're biting me.  
  
Titty: I'll get him one of these days.  
  
Luna: It really hurts!  
  
  
Mauron and Wakker don't seem to notice the exposed booty and are both trying to save Luna.  
  
  
Mauron: Someone go grap Titty!  
  
Titty: Okay. (he reaches for Tutu's...)  
  
Mauron: That's enough Titty!  
  
Titty: There's never enough titty.  
  
Wakker: God! How many breast jokes can you make from your name?  
  
Titty: I'm not sure we'll have to wait and see ;)  
  
  
Larry has managed to save Luna by now and she is sitting on the ship's deck looking wet.  
  
  
Luna: Well, let's look at the bright side- I was mauled horribly and She-man is destroying   
Stripper-land but at least I learned PRAY.  
  
Titty: Yes that's.... did you say Stripper-land?  
  
Tutu: Yes it's the island filled with attractive strippers and lesbian-fun-partys.   
  
Titty: Ah CRAP!  
  
  
FMV:  
We see She-man swimming past the small village and a few seconds of the children   
being killed and the rest of the 20 mins is taken up with pictures of the stripper bars  
being SLOWLY destroyed. We then go back to the boat and see Tidus crying his   
poor little eyes out. Larry is also shedding a tear or two. Mauron and Wakker don't  
seem to care.  
  
  
Tutu: Well we've arrived at Stripper-land!  
  
Welcoming Party: Actaully since the attack we've changed the name to, Snore-lika.  
It's the most boring place around! WELCOME!  
  
Mauron: Yes. Thank you. We will sleep at the Inn that miraculously WASN'T destroyed  
like the rest of town. Then after a good night's rest, Luna will preform the Bending.  
  
  
Titty looks over to Tutu.  
  
  
Tutu: I'm going to presume that you want to know about the Bending and that you aren't  
transfixed by my heaving bosom. Luna has two other duties apart from defeating  
She-man. She must bend the dead and force them to go to the Nearplane. She  
must also straighten the bent and force them to live a life free of homosexualtiy.  
  
Titty: The Nearplane?  
  
Tutu: You're just full of stupid questions aren't you? Well, it's like the Farplane,  
but much closer and half the price.  
  
Titty: Oh okay. By the way, did you ever think the gay people are just like us and  
have the same desires as us but just want different things?  
  
  
Tutu's eyes start glowing red.   
  
  
Man: WE GOT A BLEEDER!!!  
  
  
After Titty has been cared for at the hospital he comes back to see Luna start her Bending.  
  
  
FMV:  
Luna walks out onto the sea and magically floats on the water she starts her dance to send  
the dead on their way. It's a beautiful and touching sequence and looks amazing and she even....  
  
  
Luna: Ah Fuck! I dropped my wand. Can someone get it? It dropped to the bottom and I can't  
get down from here. Stupid shite non-floating piece of shit!  
  
  
Take 2:  
Luna succesfully preforms her Bending and the souls are sent on their way.  
  
  
Tutu: Well done Luna. That was great. Next time no fuck-ups okay?  
  
  
Our Heroes then head off on the bendy and pointless path to the temple. They figure out some  
more boring puzzles and Luna gets slagged by one of the other summoners. There's also a boss  
battle- nothing important.  
They all start on their way back to town but get in a battle with a big plant.  
  
  
Tutu: Luna- why don't you try out your gay-ons?  
  
Luna: Okay. Spunky GO!!  
  
The flying monkey jumps out of her ass again but the plant defeats it as it drools on its feet.  
  
  
Luna: I'll try my new fire-type! Go Dipshit.  
  
  
An gigantic ball of flame fires out of her ass and then turns into a wierd fire-dog.  
  
Luna: Even though you're my slave and you always do my bidding; Please Help Us.  
  
  
They defeat the creature and go back to town. They all go swimming but Luna can't stop   
herself form floating on the surface.  
  
Luna: Stupid Crap! I mean Kevin bless us all and my holy powers.  
  
Titty: Hahahaha! You can't swim, you can't swim.  
  
  
Bubbles start coming up from the water.  
  
Titty: whoops. Sorry- didn't mean to. That was a stinker.  
  
  
  
Later in the day they board the boat again and head off on the long boat journey to Fooka.  
Along the way LOADS of boring shit happens.  
  
  
Titty: Oh. There's a zarkball. Maybe I'll go have a flashback and try to learn a move that I can   
obviously do already just for the crack of it.  
  
Titty bounces up and down kicking zarkballs all over the place.   
  
  
Luna: It's such a lovely night. Kevin be praised.  
  
  
One of the zarkballs hits her on the back of the head and she goes flying overboard again.  
  
  
Luna: I'm okay. This time I'm floating. Hello? You guys?  
  
  
Luna is caught by a fishing ship and sold for slave labour to the Germans for 5gil.  
  
Fuckuu: Endlich. Ich hab' eine neue Sklavin, mit der ich spielen kann.  
  
Luna: Kevin be praised. You've saved me!  
  
Fuckuu: Yes we have. Now bend over!  
  
  
The S.S. Wine-o finally arrives at Fooka and after the opeing ceremony and a lot of slagging for   
the Be-gayed Snore-jocks they all proceed to the locker room to 'prepare' for the match.  
  
Wakker: Oh yeah- that's it!  
  
Tutu eventually realises that she broke a nail and starts looking for Luna so she can heal her.  
  
Tutu: Might as well make the little skank useful. Oh no she's gone. Well it wasn't my fault!  
  
Mauron appears from behind another bush.  
  
Mauron: Let's keep this little accident quiet and pretent that it was the German's fault okay?  
It's not very good for my rep if people see that I lost my summoner.  
  
Tutu: You really are legendary aren't you? Well we'll go find her in a minute but shhh....TV!  
  
  
They both look up at the big monitor and watch the opening ceremony. They see lots of old   
people and some guy with stupid hair and a top that doesn't fit properly.   
  
Tutu: Oh I didn't know Blister Feelmore was going to be here.  
  
  
  
WILL THEY FIND LUNA?   
WILL THEY BOTHER TRYING TO FIND LUNA?  
IS BLISTER FEELMORE EVIL? -duh!  
DOES TUTU SHAG TITTY?- not likely.  
  
TUNE IN NEXT TIME TO FIND OUT THE ANSWERS TO THESE QUESTIONS  
AND MORE!! 


	3. Continue-ings

Ladies, Gentlemen, Transvestites, Homosexuals and those of unknown origin:  
IT IS TIME!!  
  
The never ending story will now continue (and eventually finish)  
THIS IS PART THREE!  
  
Written by: Busty McHooter  
  
  
  
Previously on Last Imagination X lots happened- if you want a re-cap then go  
back to part 2 you lazy bastard.  
  
  
  
  
  
  
  
Mauron: We are finally here. It's time to get the Final Gay-on and defeat She-man.  
  
Titty: Wait a sec, where's Luna?  
  
Tutu: AH FUCK!!!  
  
(A few hours later our heroes arrive back at Fooka)  
  
Wakker: Wow. We miracuosly arrived back in time for my Zarkball game.  
Kevin! I love Zarkball. Just the feel of a Zarkball in my hand.  
  
Titty: Eww. Wakker take your hand out of there!  
  
Wakker: Oh sorry.  
  
PA system: The next match between the Be-gayed Snorejocks and the Fooka Blowers  
will begin in 20mins but before that back to our feature presentation;  
"Lesbian Love Triangle 3"  
  
Wakker: Oh no. We better go get changed. Come on Titty.  
  
Titty: What? Leave? But TV- good- is! (staring at the monitors)  
  
Tutu: Leave him, he can help me look for the Skank- I mean Luna.  
Larry- you can help too.  
  
Larry:....  
  
Wakker: Jesus. That's disgusting Larry!  
  
Mauron: I'll observe the Zarkball game and make sure it is free of fiends.  
  
Tutu: Okay. Let's go. When we get Luna, Titty can join you for the game.  
  
Wakker: Fine. Good luck.  
  
Tutu: I don't luck- I have little Mog-gie here. Come on Titty.  
  
Titty: Oh yeah I'm cumming. (still watching the TV)  
  
  
Wakker goes and 'prepares' for his match and the others run towards the docks, while  
Mauron takes his seat in the stands.  
  
  
  
Titty: How do you know that Luna's going to be at the docks.  
  
Tutu: Well the Germans always tend to smell slightly of fish and Luna's actually German.  
Oops. You weren't supposed to know that. I'll have to kill you now.  
  
Her eyes go red.  
  
Larry:....  
  
Tutu: Oh good idea!  
  
Titty: What? What did he say?  
  
She just smiles and keeps going.  
  
  
  
The reach the docks and board the German ship- "Fichen"  
  
  
Anonymous German1: Was wollt ihr denn hier?  
  
Tutu: KILL HIM!!!!!!!  
  
  
After that very short battle they fight against a big metal testicle.  
  
Titty: Why do all the enemies here look like 'thingies'.  
  
Tutu: Well..... I'm not quite sure. It probably makes a lot of sense if you   
think about the story as a whole.  
  
Titty: There you go again talking about holes- you're all perves.  
  
  
  
BOSS BATTLE:  
Mettalic Testicle:  
HP: 10000  
MP: None.  
Items: Luna (who was trapped inside)  
  
  
Titty: Luna's trapped inside we should be careful.  
  
Tutu: You're right. *casts Ultima*  
  
Larry: .....  
  
Tutu: I didn't think you *could* put a spear up there.  
  
  
Eventually the boss is blown up. Sphere levels are gained and items are received.  
Tutu: Do we really have to take an item that looks like cow-plop.  
  
Titty: I think it's Luna.  
  
Tutu: Oh. *kicks her*  
  
Luna: I'm okay. I'm okay. HEAL!  
  
*They roll their eyes*  
  
Luna: Kevin be praised - you saved me.  
  
Titty: I get the impression that we're going to have to do that a lot during this  
story of mine.  
  
Tutu: Come on we have to go watch this stupid match that Wakker is in.  
  
Luna: Okay let's g..... (she falls overboard again)  
You guys help me I fell in again.  
  
Titty: Geez. Someone should put a leash on her.  
  
  
  
A bit later they get back to the arena and Titty goes to play in the match.  
  
Titty: Hey. Wakker I can play now- we saved Luna.  
  
Wakker: Zark-tastic.  
  
Titty: I was just wondering- how come we can breathe in here and I can talk too.  
  
Wakker: Well that's quite obvious you see....  
  
  
One of the Fooka Blowers hits Wakker with the ball.  
  
  
Titty: Wakker!! Are you okay?  
  
Wakker: Yeah I'm fine. Let's get it on!  
  
Titty: Let go of my ass.  
  
Wakker: Oh sorry.  
  
  
*Initiating Zarkball Tutorial*  
  
Titty: Amn't I already an expert on Zarkball considering I played it professionally.  
  
*Zarkball Tutorial runs off crying*  
  
  
Titty: Weird.  
  
*Match begins*  
  
  
  
Titty manages to catch the ball after Zark-off. He looks around for someone to pass  
to but Wakker is waving frantically to someone in the audience.  
Titty looks into the crowd and sees Mauron sitting down watching Wakker and him.  
  
  
Titty: Does anyone else wonder where Mauron's hand goes when he's not fighting?  
I mean I think right now it's down his pants.  
  
  
Realising that he's talking to himself Titty swims up the pitch and knocks out the  
opposition with his Cheat..eh I mean Jecht Shot. They score.  
  
Titty gets the ball.  
Titty scores.  
Titty gets the ball.  
Titty scores.  
Titty gets the ball.  
Titty scratches himself.  
Titty scores.  
  
  
Tutu: I'm glad he's good at Zarkball because as a person he's below par. I mean that  
*is* going to be the only place he's going to score.  
  
  
After 5 mins of Titty scoring and Wakker wacking the match is over and the Be-gayed   
Snore-jocks lose. It's only then that Titty realises that he's supposed to be shooting  
the other way.  
  
  
Titty: Oops. Sorry bout that.  
  
Wakker: Don't worry you can make it up later *winks*  
  
Titty: Eh well... Look monsters are attacking!!!  
  
  
FMV:  
The monsters converge on the city and kill quite a few people but no one cares because  
they're just extras. Most of the time the camera centres itself of Tutu's...bosom.  
But there's nothing new there.  
  
  
Tutu: Hey, what are you looking at?  
*her eyes glow again*  
  
Suddenly one of the camera men drops dead but no one cares cause he's only a camera man.  
  
  
  
Suddenly in the royal box Blister Feelmore stands up and falls over and stands up again.  
  
Feelmore: Hey, it's hard to stand up when ur standing on ur hands.  
  
  
A huge impressive FMV starts as Feelmore summons one of the most powerful Gay-ons in  
Queera.  
  
  
Feelmore: Go MUFFY!!  
  
  
From the depths Feelmore's pants a giant muff emerges and starts shooting wierd  
funky smelling stuff at all the Fiends attacking the people. The fiends are all   
killed and the muff returns to the depths of hell- whoops I mean Feelmore's trousers.  
  
  
Luna: By holy Kevin, his Gay-on's so powerful. I wish I was as good as him. But I'm  
not and I never will be.  
  
Tutu: Probably.  
  
Larry:.....  
  
Tutu: You right it was just a giant cun...  
  
Luna: Hey you guys it's Titty (pointing to Titty as he comes up to them)  
  
Tutu: No not titty- vagina.  
  
Titty: Hey you guys. Did anyone else think that was disturbing?  
  
Mauron: (in the distance) Ouchies!  
  
Tutu: Aww crap he's got his hand stuck again. Luna you better go *heal* him.  
  
Luna: I'm not going near THAT (pointing to where his hand is)  
  
Wakker: But, it's ur sacred duty.  
  
Luna: Jesus, this is a really shit job. I mean I have to go on a really long journey  
and at the end I summon a huge thing and die and NOW I have to remove Mauron's  
hand from his...  
  
Titty: Cock-a-doodle-do.  
  
  
They all look at him.  
  
  
Titty: What? I can't say something weird considering all the shit that's after   
happening. By the way did you just say that you have to die after the journey.  
  
Tutu: Well yes, but we'll talk about that dramatically later- so pretend you didn't  
hear it, like you always do.  
  
Titty: Cool with me. By the way what's a Blister? In my world they're disgusting and  
ugly and you really want to stab and pop them when you get one.  
  
Tutu: Pretty much same here. We all know they're evil but they add to the dramatic  
tension when they're around.  
  
  
After Luna *heals* Mauron, the groups gets ready to leave but before hand...  
  
Titty: Guys I really need to pee could you wait for me?  
  
Wakker: Titty, I told you to go before we left the hotel!  
  
Titty: I know but I didn't need to go then.  
  
Wakker: Fine, we'll wait for you.  
  
  
Titty runs off to the toilets.  
Once he's finished he walks out and...  
  
Mauron: Titty wait... (pulling up his trousers)  
  
Titty: Mauron, what were you doing here?  
  
Mauron: Nothing (wipes his mouth)  
Anyway I thought that maybe we should talk about ur father and that fact  
that he's She-Man and that you'll have to kill him. You knew that though  
right? You could tell when you were inside it. I remember what it was like   
to be inside ur father. Anyway..  
  
Titty: Yeah okay, dad's a transvestite- I have to kill him. Got it. Check.  
  
  
They go back to the others.  
  
Wakker: Okay it's time to leave Fooka. Zark-tastic.  
  
Luna: Titty, can I talk to you for a bit.  
  
Titty: But Tutu and I were going to...  
  
Luna: Not likely. Get ur ass over here.  
  
Titty: Lighten up will you. Maybe we should laugh together!  
  
Luna: You're a fucking spaz aren't you?  
  
Titty: Ha ha.  
  
Luna: HA HA HA HA HA SPAZ  
  
Titty: HAHHAHAHHAAAHHAAHAHHAH VIRGIN BITCH  
  
Luna: HHAHAHAHHHHHHHHHHHHAAAAAAAAAAHHHHHHHHHHAAAAAAAAHHHHHHAAAA NEVER GOING  
TO GET WITH TUTU.  
  
Titty: That's just low. (pushes her)  
  
  
She falls into the water again.  
  
Luna: HELP YOU GUYS TITTY MADE ME WET!  
  
  
They all looks back shocked.  
  
  
Luna: I fell again.  
  
Tutu: Oh bloody heck.  
  
Larry: .....  
  
Wakker: Yeah I thought she meant that too.  
  
  
After another hour of fishing Luna out of the water (again) they head down the  
hugely long and winding road. At least we hope they know where they're going.  
  
  
"Hey big boy, I'm Foolinda. Would you like a good *healing*"  
she says thrusting her hips at Titty erotically.  
  
Titty: Eww. No ur ugly and smell like shit.   
  
Tutu: Just ignore her- she's one of those street-walking prostitutes.  
  
Titty: Why? Does it make you jealous? (rubbing his nipples erotically)  
  
Tutu: Whatever *rolls her eyes*  
  
Foolinda: Come on I'll heal you for free this time.  
  
Titty: Waahey! I'll be thinking of you Tutu.  
  
Foolinda: Don't worry I'll be thinking of her too. *winks at Tutu*  
  
Tutu: This is *so* disturbing.  
  
  
They go into a tent. Two minutes later they emerge.  
  
Foolinda: There..... you..... go..... You're.... healed. (panting madly)  
  
Luna: I could have done *that*.  
  
Wakker: Anyway, now that disturbing and non-arousing event is over let's keep going.  
  
  
  
They keep walking down the long and winding road again.  
  
Titty: Are we there yet?  
  
Tutu: NO.  
  
Titty: Are we there yet?  
  
Wakker: No.  
  
Titty: How about now?  
  
Mauron: No.  
  
Titty: Now?  
  
  
Luna smacks him over the head with her wand and knocks him out.  
The others stare at her.  
  
Luna: What he was annoying me?  
  
Tutu: That's okay- I just thought I'd be the one to do that.  
  
  
  
  
  
  
  
THE END (for now)  
WILL TITTY WAKE UP? WILL HE HAVE BRAIN DAMAGE?  
DOES HE ALREADY? WILL THEY GET THE FINAL GAY-ON?  
WILL LUNA EVENTUALLY DROWN?  
  
Stay tuned to find out. Or play the game.  
NO WAIT- DO NOT PLAY THE GAME.  
READ MY STORY!  
  
P.S. Make sure you review this time please.  
I want some feed-back.  
Not just on this part but on the whole story.  
Get typing those reviews now.  
I SAID NOW!!!  
  
  
  
Written by Busty McHooters  
A Bin Brian Production.  
Part of the licensed trade union of idiots. 


End file.
